Monday, October 14, 2013
Sunday, October 13, 2013
It's All About Timing
It's been forever since I've blogged. Lots of changes in life for me. I suppose that can be said of everyone
that I know and even those I don't know. I'm 49 now. I can't decide where that puts me in life, sometimes I
feel certain it makes me old but as of late not wise or venerable. Physically I'm not in bad shape, I've begun
training to run 50 miles on my 50th birthday. We'll see how that goes. I"ll tell you what I have discovered
in life of late. It's all about timing. Literally, I truly believe that life is all about timing. You can call it destiny,
predestination, chaos, the universe, luck or any other word you want to use but timing, well that's the "rub"
as we say in the south. I found it especially true in relationships. ESPECIALLY true.
I look back on my life and did you know I met my first wife in nursing school? I started with one class and
became great friends with another guy that was closer to my age after I had gotten out of the Marines and
his wife was pregnant at the time we met, she delivered a preemie, I visited the hospital and 18 months later
I'm married to the nurse that took care of their baby. Who knew?
But it's more that that, timing is so critical in nature that it's not just big events that affect our lives but little
ones. Small details missed not noticed by us that make the difference between life and death, happiness and
sadness, triumph and tragedy. My father and mother as many of you know were hit by a drunk driver on
the way back from a local high school basketball game, it nearly killed them both, did you know that the van
that left the parking lot behind them was filled with about 20 kids from their church? Timing....
For me timing has always been about being impulsive, I never had much of a sense of being thoughtful or
reflective about most situations. My personality is well suited to charge ahead, "fix" the situation, damn the
torpedoes, full speed ahead as they say. I cannot say it did not always serve me well. I was promoted
twice meritoriously in the Marines for such actions. I can honestly say foolishness not bravery pushed me
through one of those promotions and I came through unscathed despite my actions and so did my men.
Timing.
I have spent the last 17 years working in the organ and tissue donation field. I've done well at times and
enjoyed it otherwise I would have never stayed in it that long. What most people don't know is that when
my sister died we asked that she be an organ and tissue donor. It wasn't allowed because of medical
examiner's concerns but I was so impressed by the coordinator that spoke to my parents it followed me. I
moved to Mississippi some years later and eventually began to work for the University of the Mississippi
Medical Center who fired their organ/tissue department. 8 people applied for the job. 7 were offered the
job and turned it down because of the salary. I was the 8th. I took the job , 17 years. Part of my
responsibilities in Georgia were Medical Examiner's Relationships. Timing.
Despite these grand things it's the small things that I'm beginning to see as more important, did I tell my
father I loved him the last time I saw him? Timing. When I spoke to that person at work, what did my
voice inflect to them. Tragedy, Triumph, Love or disdain. Did they leave in wonder of who or what they
were or to become? Timing.
Love, that's the thing. Love is all about timing. A sweet gesture, a gentle kiss, a "I'm sorry" at the right
moment. A tender touch, remembering to make her feel special, flowers for no reason. " A day late and a
dollar short", my father use to say. Affairs of the heart march to their own drummer. I suggest we all start
listening, reflecting, and quietly ever so quietly being more attentive. Timing.
Time is short.
Time moves on whether we do or not.
Most important thing I've learned? Time cannot be recaptured. It's in the moment. You can't take back
what YOU DID or what YOU DIDN'T DO.
I suggest we all start living that way, in the moment. You won't get it back.