Zero Turn Lawn Mowers and 72 year old mothers...

Well lets get this started off by telling you how my weekend went last Saturday. Sarah and I drove to our parents (they live exactly 6.8 miles apart I know this because I run it when we are there sometimes). We went to drop my youngest two children off to spend the week with their grandparents and the excuse that I was going to "help" my parents with a few chores. The first was cutting their grass. Now if you have been to my parents you'd know they live in the country and have about 3 acres of land which about 2 of those require cutting with a lawn mower. So when I got there Saturday it was well past the time to cut since my mother hasn't been feeling well and my father can no longer cut the yard. Here's where the tricky part comes in... My 72 year old mother just bought a zero turn lawn mower. You know the ones, have the captain's chair on top of the machine and two space shuttle handles on each side, allowing you to turn in 0 degrees, thus a zero turn lawn mower.
First let me tell you that the handles are sensitive to the touch, when I say sensitive I mean imagine telling Mike Tyson that he has a high and squeaky voice and you'd get the same violent reaction by moving the handles ever so slightly. I found this out when I tried to back the mower out of their garage, it was relatively difficult but uneventful, I feel certain my parents will not notice the dent in their car it's such a small one. Things didn't get much better when I actually got to the grass. I can best explain it by relaying a phone call my father received from one of the neighbors.
Ring Ring
Father: Hello
Neighbor: Hi Jim how are you today?
Father: I'm in good shape for the shape I'm in.... (my Dad cracks me up)
Neighbor: Hey Jim who's cutting your grass? Stevie Wonder?
Father: What?
Neighbor: Who's cutting your grass? Stevie Wonder? I don't know if you realize it but there's some man cutting your grass, well it kinda looks like he's cutting your grass, your yard looks like a Salvador Dali painting, like a giant cow threw up after a all night eating binge....
Father: Oh, that...that's my son he's trying to be helpful so we let him cut the grass...
Neighbor: Wait, hold on..Geesh....he just took his hand off one of the controls to scratch his face......whew that was close. I'd hate to see Jenny's face if we had to pull that mower out of the pond.
Father: Yea, you know he almost slid his car off into that pond last time he was here..
Neighbor: Yea I remember that. Hey Jim I'm not much into interfering but maybe you shouldn't let him help so much....
Father: Yea probably not
Neighbor: Actually let him help, maybe we should just sell tickets next time....

When I finished cutting the grass my mother asked me to wire some electrical outlets in the basement. Before I could start I noticed the neighbors had set up chairs in the drive way. Wonder what that was about?