Grief is a long road.....

Hello folks, this is my first blog since my father's passing.  I don't have a great lesson in my words for you, not

that my blogs have ever had some great lesson to share.  I've struggled to come up with something to write

about at all. No, that's not totally true. I've had thoughts on occasion the last two months, something that has

caused me to be indignant, happy or sad that I would like to have shared with you, but I have not been able

to express them here. It has been as if someone has punched me in the stomach and whoosh; all the words

and thoughts have been expelled from me and I'm having a hard time catching my breath.  Sarah has been a

great comfort during this time as have my friends yet still for the first time in my life words do escape me.  It's

ironic that at a time where I want and almost need to find a great lesson, something to hang my hat on if I can

be so flippant, I am blank.  I feel reminiscent about life in general, reflecting on how things have played out

over time wondering if I have done my best, been as kind as I should have been (that answer is no), accepted

people for their strengths and not their faults in my life.  A road of "what if" with large billboards of memories

that trigger rushes of emotion that "jerk" me back to the present time.  It's as if I've nodded off while life

passes by and been startled awake by the realization.  I don't know when things will get back to "normal"  if

life can ever be called normal.  A friend posted on my Facebook that "Grief is a long road" and they are

mostly right.  I would say "Grief is a long hard road" and we all make the journey sooner or later.