A funny thing happened to me...life: It's All About Timing

A funny thing happened to me...life: It's All About Timing

It's All About Timing

It's been forever since I've blogged.  Lots of changes in life for me.  I suppose that can be said of everyone

that I know and even those I don't know. I'm 49 now.  I can't decide where that puts me in life, sometimes I

feel certain it makes me old but as of late not wise or venerable.   Physically I'm not in bad shape, I've begun

training to run 50 miles on my 50th birthday.  We'll see how that goes.  I"ll tell you what I have discovered

 in life of late.  It's all about timing.  Literally, I truly believe that life is all about timing.  You can call it destiny,

 predestination, chaos, the universe, luck or any other word you want to use but timing, well that's the "rub"

as we say in the south.  I found it especially true in relationships.  ESPECIALLY true.

I look back on my life and did you know I met my first wife in nursing school?  I started with one class and

became great friends with another guy that was closer to my age after I had gotten out of the Marines and

his wife was pregnant at the time we met, she delivered a preemie, I visited the hospital and 18 months later

I'm married to the nurse that took care of their baby.  Who knew?

But it's more that that, timing is so critical in nature that it's not just big events that affect our lives but little

 ones.  Small details missed not noticed by us that make the difference between life and death, happiness and

 sadness, triumph and tragedy.  My father and mother as many of you know were hit by a drunk driver on

the way back from a local high school basketball game, it nearly killed them both, did you know that the van

 that left the parking lot behind them was filled with about 20 kids from their church?  Timing....

For me timing has always been about being impulsive, I never had much of a sense of being thoughtful or

reflective about most situations.  My personality is well suited to charge ahead, "fix" the situation, damn the

 torpedoes, full speed ahead as they say.  I cannot say it did not always serve me well.  I was promoted

twice meritoriously in the Marines for such actions. I can honestly say foolishness not bravery pushed me

through one of those promotions and I came through unscathed despite my actions and so did my men.

 Timing.

I have spent the last 17 years working in the organ and tissue donation field.  I've done well at times and

enjoyed it otherwise I would have never stayed in it that long.  What most people don't know is that when

 my sister died we asked that she be an organ and tissue donor.  It wasn't allowed because of medical

examiner's concerns but I was so impressed by the coordinator that spoke to my parents it followed me.  I

 moved to Mississippi some years later and eventually began to work for the University of the Mississippi

Medical Center who fired their organ/tissue department.  8 people applied for the job.  7 were offered the

job and turned it down because of the salary.  I was the 8th.  I took the job , 17 years.  Part of my

responsibilities in Georgia were Medical Examiner's Relationships.  Timing.

Despite these grand things it's the small things that I'm beginning to see as more important,  did I tell my

father I loved him the last time I saw him?  Timing.  When I spoke to that person at work, what did my

voice inflect to them.  Tragedy, Triumph, Love or disdain.  Did they leave in wonder of who or what they

 were or to become?  Timing.

Love, that's the thing.  Love is all about timing.  A sweet gesture, a gentle kiss, a "I'm sorry" at the right

moment.  A tender touch, remembering to make her feel special, flowers for no reason. " A day late and a

dollar short", my father use to say. Affairs of the heart march to their own drummer.  I suggest we all start

listening, reflecting, and quietly ever so quietly being more attentive.  Timing.

Time is short.

Time moves on whether we do or not.

Most important thing I've learned?  Time cannot be recaptured.  It's in the moment. You can't take back

what YOU DID or what YOU DIDN'T DO.

I suggest we all start living that way, in the moment.  You won't get it back.

The bear, a biscuit and me.

Yesterday was lovely day in what is referred to as Middle Tennessee.  We divide Tennessee into three distinct areas.  West, Middle and East.  I live in Middle Tennessee, Nashville in fact and decided to go hiking.  The area around Nashville allows for some varied terrain in and around the city which the average hiker can indulge him or herself in a fashion of hiking in which they so choose.  I  lately have had some migraine headaches so when I had a great night sleep when I awoke I determined that we would go to a local park and do some hiking both on and off trail.  The park we chose is very close, less than 30 minutes drive from my home, extremely beautiful hardwoods, running creeks, a number of varied wildlife that you will encounter from time to time The park is perhaps appropriately named after the family that owns many of the the car dealerships in Nashville. (I'm not sure they are related, no one has ever actually approached me about buying a car while I've been hiking.)  Nonetheless after packing the appropriate gear as a prepared Marine, hiker and OCD treated patient we were off on our adventure.  We would never and I mean never go anywhere without packing enough supplies to last for seventeen days.  I mean did you see the fellow that had to cut his arm off to get back to his car? Really?

We drove with the windows down as the weather was glorious.  The temperature was in the low 70's and that would drop by 2-5 degrees as we neared our destination. A lone coyote was seen in a empty lot in a neighborhood; a shudder passing through me as I knew he was standing over a meal since he was so emboldened to eat in the open   We  both exhibited great excitement as we pulled into the parking lot and I pulled on a light Camel bak and we headed off to the Ridge Trail.  We struck a brisk pace almost double time and the woods cast a shadow that didn't allow for sun glasses so they became an ornament  for the apex of my head.  The hundreds of acorns crunched beneath my feet and the plunking sound of them bouncing off branches to trunks to branches and then to the ground were constant; as if a light rain of acorns had been forecast for today. All and all it was pleasant more than that it was peaceful.  I picked up my pace and my body temperature began a tug of war between a chill and the warmth that is meant for you when the sun pushes through the slowly vanishing leaves of fall. We chose a ridge trail and eventually picked up the pace till we were running.

 Running trails requires a combination of several atributes of balance, coordination and luck and I cannot place enough emphasis on luck.  Just push the toe of your running shoe a fraction of a millimeter off the root of a hundred year old oak tree as you bound across a small but deep trench in the trail created by the thousands possible millions of gallons of rainwash that has moved through in the last 50 years and the ER physician will say  "These stitches should approximate that gash nicely and it shouldn't leave much of a scar at all."  The other but mostly positive note is that since you are always looking at the ground for places to push off, place your feet such as the flat rock exposed from the rain over the years, the 150 year-old oak who gives both the root for pushing off and falling acorns that you are sliding though as if you are Neo in the movie Matrix, or perhaps the hard pack earth that you can see through the leaves that have fallen in the early season is that you often run upon scenes in nature unexpectedly.  Sometimes deer grazing, sometimes a bobcat, lots of squirrels, rabbits and an occasional snake. (I will say the occasional snake will cause me to immediately work on my vertical jump skills which the height of the jump are direct relation to the size of the snake).

Today was no different in the sense that we did run upon an unexpected guest.  We reached the end of our trail and sat down on the bench and decided to have a little snack.  I had not eaten lunch before running and I had also brought something for my partner.  I had just taken out his morsels when I heard a grunt and some shuffling some distance behind me.  I casually turned because I really expected an obese middle aged bow hunter that had been caught slipping through State of Tennessee landing hunting where it is prohibited.  It was not.  It was a bear.  A black bear I suppose.  I cannot find an article that states a black bear has been sighted  in Davidson County Tennessee in the last 20 years or so on Google search but never the same there he was approximately 50-75  yards or so away. At the time I was holding "BEGGING STIPS" in my hands.  Yes the ones on TV where the dogs are thinking Bacon, Bacon, Bacon , Bacon , Bacon, Bacon and are doing somersaults to get said begging strips from the person holding them.  My mind immediately went to what alternate did I have to get rid of the strips and my mind thought "I have a biscuit".  Biscuit is my dog.  When I say "we" in this article it's me and biscuit  "We spend a lot of time together.  Anyone of you that has spent time with me know why at this point in my life why my dog spends more time with me than anyone else.  " Biscuit was more interested at this time in the Begging Strips in my hands than the possibility that there was a black bear 75 yards behind me sniffing the same mind controlling smell of "real bacon.  I had just eaten my lunch, a large asian pear.  Please remember this as we continue our story.  Since we were well beyond the distance in which anyone would hear our bear clawing screams I decided we were going to vamoose.  I started packing up (Who packed all this crap?  Enough for 17 days!) while trying to keep hold of a dog who wanted to Beggin Strips and still had not noticed the bear.  I'm not sure whether to be proud or to express my disdain for my dog but at a more appropriate time of course.

After finally getting everything packed (I could have used that large illegal hunter to sit on the pack to close it) we were on the trail.  We eased up the trail another 50 yards and at that point the trail narrows  in relation to where we were when we first saw the bear, so the bear would have to use the trail if he decided to tag along.  I could not see him anymore.  I couldn't decided if this was a good or bad thing.  A bear you couldn't see had left the area right? Of course!  Except I once saw a bear in the Smokies with my son, Zach, we were no further than 30 or 40 yards away and it was bright green foliage and shadows. We took a picture with our camera and when we got home where we developed the picture  we couldn't find the bear in the picture.  So maybe it wasn't good I couldn't see the bear.  We were going to walk back but I told biscuit let's run.  So we ran, turns out not good after eating an extremely large Asian pear.  The pear and I determined within half a mile that it did not want to stay friends and the pear was promptly ejected.  While this was going on Biscuit looked quite confused about the whole day and  I said "I guess if the bear was following us he'd catch us for before the car" he looked at me like the person who finally realizes "There's a bear following us?  Did you say car?"  Apparently Begging Strips do not cause the same type of gastrointestinal discomfort as Asian pears.  I saw him for about 7 seconds before he was gone from sight.

When I emerged from what I thought would be a most glorious day, plastered in dirt, with a growling stomach, and angry legs I was greeted by a smiling Biscuit sitting by my car.  The day was perfect!


Disclaimer:  I understand that bear sightings in Middle Tennessee are extremely rare.  I did not take a picture of it with my cell phone camera, who takes their cell phone hiking in the woods?  No I will not show you where I saw the bear, no I will not give you the name of the park, no I will not correspond in email with you and no I will not do an interview with you.  Leave me and the bear alone.  Yes I am an experienced outdoors man,  Marine, hunter, and hiker (I have over 400 miles on the AT in section hikes, I have seen numerous bears so I do know what they look like).  Some of the story is fiction.  Not all of my blogs are completely true and are exaggerated for effect.  The bear sighting is not one of them.  Biscuit is also not an exaggeration.  

A funny thing happened to me...life: Words we should despise or a "Yummerful" Experience

A funny thing happened to me...life: Words we should despise or a "Yummerful" Experience

Words we should despise or a "Yummerful" Experience

At times I think we are overwhelmed by the amount of media that we can access everyday.  We get on
Facebook, twitter, CNN, CNBC, FOX News, and then there is of course the old fashion way, books and
television.  It is overwhelming at times and we all get caught up in the mass media.  I usually am not bothered
by this.  I'm not on Facebook anymore and I've never been on twitter and I only watch TV several hours a
week.  I do read a lot of news on the Internet.  Despite all of my filtering I've become appalled by our
inability to describe any experience without using the same words over and over.  I'm serious, how many
times lately have you heard the word amazing?  That was amazing!  I'm at a football game and a receiver
made the most amazing catch I've ever seen.  Awesome.  That was awesome.  Can you believe that roller
coaster, it was awesome!  Yummy.  I despise this word.  Roast beef, sweet corn and peas, Yummy!  Just
had cupcakes from Cupcakes-R-Us, YUMMY!  My stomach literally turns when I read or hear the word
"yummy".  I've personally never tasted anything that made me say the word yummy.  I ate octopus once in
Spain that was cooked in a sauce made out of the ink it disperses when in danger.  Not yummy.  I didn't
even think not yummy.  I can't share the word I used but it was not yummy.  I once asked every older lady in
my church to make banana pudding for homecoming.  I told them all I had never tasted banana pudding
more heavenly than their banana pudding. There were 23 dishes of banana puddings laid out that day.  I ate
some out of each and every bowl.  I thanked every older lady in our church and yet yummy never crossed
my mind (God, please forgive me but I do love me some banana pudding).  I don't like wonderful either.  Everything has become wonderful.  Did you see "Abraham Lincoln, the Vampire Killer", it was wonderful  (It was not even good, much less wonderful).  I just rode in a new Lexus,it was wonderful!  If that is wonderful, your goals are not set high enough.

After giving this careful thought, I've invented a word so that we can describe mundane experiences, yet still 
maintain the dignity of the words used to describe the Pyramid of Giza, the Aurora Borealis and the Temple 
of Artemis.  It's a word that I will never use as I despise it already.  As soon as I got the word out of my 
mouth I vowed never to utter it again.  The word is "Yummerful"  that's right "Yummerful"  Yum-mer-ful: of 
a sort that causes or arouses wonder; very pleasing to the senses, especially taste.  It will become an 
instant sensation on Facebook and Twitter.  "I went to Ruth Chris Steakhouse tonight and it was 
Yummerful".  It's a perfect word for our generation.  It both conveys the idea that the food was say, 
excellent, exquisite, tasty, delectable, divine, pungent,savory, or zestful and that the experience was pleasant, 
pleasing, superb, tremendous, terrific, or stupendous.  I think this word is going to catch on instantly.  If the 
three followers of my blog use it once, then their friends use it once and their friend's friends use it once then 
in no time it'll be on Facebook and tweeted constantly.  Can you imagine a tweet from say Mitt Romney?     
"I just raised 15 million dollars to run for a job that pays only 250,000 dollars a year!"  Yummerful!  A 
Facebook post from Michele Obama?  "Today, I bought totally green cleaning supplies from Target, 
Yummerful!"   I can't contain my excitement! I can see Maroon 5 having a tour next summer and calling it 
"The Summerful of Yummerful".  What about Jared from Subway?  "Try our Yummerful sandwiches!"  The 
possibilities for the word are endless. T-shirts, bumper stickers, flair and billboards everywhere.

In just a few short months, everyone will begin to hate it as much as I do.  They'll cringe every time someone 
uses yummerful to describe an experience.  Soon only old and geeky people will use the word.  It'll make the 
"Top Ten Over Used Words List"  I can't wait!  Don't worry though I've already filed a copyright on the 
word so I'll make money every time someone uses it.  Simply Yummerful!

Ready to Lead, Ready to Follow, Never Quit.....

Ready to Lead, Ready to Follow, Never Quit….  Those are the words that comprise the Navy SEAL’s

motto.  We were reminded this week that there are a group of men that are a cut above the rest that protect

our country in the most dangerous places in the world.  Saturday, May 7^th, 2011 we will honor one of these

elite men named Michael Murphy. It would have been his 35^th birthday.   A Medal of Honor winner, the

Navy will commission a ship with his namesake to forever honor a fallen hero.  I have provided the Marine

Color Guard for several of these ceremonies in the mid 1980’s and although there will be great pomp and

circumstance, I’m sure despite the Navy’s best effort it will be lacking in the gratitude Lt. Murphy truly

deserves.“The Protector” was his nickname.  He received the moniker when in Elementary School he was

suspended for fighting.  The fight was with several boys who were trying to “stuff” a special needs child into a

locker.  I imagine most men of Lt. Murphy’s caliber have a similar story in their past.  Lt. Murphy grew up

and graduated from Pennsylvania State University.  I understand that he had been accepted by several law

schools but instead chose to join the Navy to become a SEAL.  I would afford a guess that he felt “called” as

so many of our servicemen and women cite this as the reason they joined a branch of our military.  SEAL

school was in Lt. Murphy’s future and just like all of the other endeavors in his life, failure was not an

option.  

Lt. Murphy was eventually given the command of a SEAL team and 2005 found himself and 4 other Seals in

the Kunar Provence of Afghanistan.  Their mission was supposed to be one of observation and reporting of

target identification.  However, like most missions not everything went smoothly, 3 goat herders wandered

upon his team.  They were quickly captured and a discussion ensued as to their immediate future.  Lt.

Murphy argued successfully that they should not execute these three men.   They had no proof that they were

combatants and current he was under orders not to engage unless there was a clear danger.  Lt. Murphy

even put it to a vote and the men were released to be on their way.  One of the “men” was a 14 year-old-

boy and they all quickly disappeared over the hill.  Just minutes later the SEAL team was assaulted by over

100 Taliban fighters armed with AK-47’s and rocket launchers.  Though overwhelming outmanned the battle

raged for quite sometime.  Soon 3 of the team were wounded and their radio had been damaged beyond

repair.  Despite the danger, “The Protector” ran to an open area exposing him to enemy fire and used his

satellite phone to call for support.  Lt. Murphy did make contact with the Command Center requesting

support for his team.  Then the inevitable happened Lt. Murphy was shot and he dropped the phone.  The

lone surviving SEAL team member tells that Lt. Murphy then picked up the phone and gave his last words to

his command, “Roger out, Thank you.”   No, Lt. Michael Murphy, thank you. 

Grief is a long road.....

Hello folks, this is my first blog since my father's passing.  I don't have a great lesson in my words for you, not

that my blogs have ever had some great lesson to share.  I've struggled to come up with something to write

about at all. No, that's not totally true. I've had thoughts on occasion the last two months, something that has

caused me to be indignant, happy or sad that I would like to have shared with you, but I have not been able

to express them here. It has been as if someone has punched me in the stomach and whoosh; all the words

and thoughts have been expelled from me and I'm having a hard time catching my breath.  Sarah has been a

great comfort during this time as have my friends yet still for the first time in my life words do escape me.  It's

ironic that at a time where I want and almost need to find a great lesson, something to hang my hat on if I can

be so flippant, I am blank.  I feel reminiscent about life in general, reflecting on how things have played out

over time wondering if I have done my best, been as kind as I should have been (that answer is no), accepted

people for their strengths and not their faults in my life.  A road of "what if" with large billboards of memories

that trigger rushes of emotion that "jerk" me back to the present time.  It's as if I've nodded off while life

passes by and been startled awake by the realization.  I don't know when things will get back to "normal"  if

life can ever be called normal.  A friend posted on my Facebook that "Grief is a long road" and they are

mostly right.  I would say "Grief is a long hard road" and we all make the journey sooner or later.